I have been studying human nature for a few years now. It started internally by analyzing my reactions, thoughts, emotions, and habits. I knew I didn't want to feel the way I feel. To change that, I had to understand exactly what I feel, my triggers, and why I have those triggers. For example, I had very little self worth. It made no sense. I had competent skills that I was proud of. I had a great job. People seemed to like me. But I did not see myself this way. I was not confident, and my attitude towards myself reflected my world view. I was not the man I wanted to be. This was a flaw of mine. It still is, but I have to sharpen my mindset to keep it at bay. It is easy to fall back into a previous mindset if you fall into your old ways. Why did I feel like that? I grew up in a single parent household. I had to grow up fast. This made me extremely self reliant, which is a positive, but also can be downfall. I didn't ask for help, because I've always done things on my own. The way to redesign my character was to stop old habits, old ways of thinking. Every time I consciously thought in my old ways, I would disrupt the thought and tell myself that I am not going to think that thought anymore. I practiced this everyday all day. It is a battle. Especially when you have nothing to do but think at work. So I consciously decided to make it a habit to not think that way. This gives me fresh soil to plant new ideas, new habits. That is when I started ingesting knowledge and could never get my fill. I dove into TED Talks, podcasts, and books. I learned about mindfulness. Which led me into the zen art of Buddha. Then into strange territory such as Michael Talbot, Alan Watts, Black Hole theory, the list goes on and on. I slowly started applying principles that I could relate to. Such as how you feel on the inside is how you view the world and the people in it. Habits define a big part of our entire being. Habits give us meaning, content, and a place in the world. Henry Ford said: "Whether you think you can, or you think you can't--you're right." The world is a mirror. The next time someone says something to you that makes you feel irrational, take a second and ask yourself if this affects you in the grand scheme of things. Will this affect you tomorrow? Next week? Next month? Year? If it does, then it probably affected you before that person opened their mouth. You already thought of yourself in that light and are insecure. Blaming someone else will rationalize in your mind that the problem is not you, but someone else. That is the ego's way of survival to soothe you. But if you consciously rationalize a situation, you can separate each situation from each other, and deal with them as they come. Understand that everyone is going through what you are going through. They could be riding the waves of emotions and have no self control. They could be angry because their dad was angry. And their grandpa was angry. Their anger couldn't be subdued because they didn't understand where it came from. Someone could have anxiety because their mom was too careful and wouldn't let their child be independent because she is afraid of "What ifs?" Finding out where your flaws stem from gives a sense of comfort, understanding, and relief. Now you can be aware, which is half the battle. And sometimes we can't entirely wipe our flaws. It is impossible to be perfect. If we were perfect, we'd be boring. There would be no adventure, no risks, and the spark wouldn't be there. To be human is to be alive. To understand and enjoy emotions. To share what you feel with others. To experience the journey. Not simply to exist and arrive from point a to point b.